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Tears

January 28, 2007

not your fault (Good Will Hunting)

There are two scenes that I hate to watch. One is this scene from Good Will Hunting. Its know as the “It’s not your fault” scene. The other is the scene from “Field of Dreams” where Ray’s father comes back and plays a game of pitch with him. I think most people see these scenes and may be touched, maybe not. But after the 10th time, I guess most people don’t cry. I’ve seen lots of folks tear up at the “it’s not your fault” may carry a load of false guilt. Maybe from a divorce of their parents, maybe from a death long ago.

The other scene is a wound from my childhood. I used to play baseball. Played for a long time but my father never once threw a ball with me. He never came to my games and by the time I was in High School I no longer wanted him to. The only time I ever remember him being present was one of the tryout days for High School Baseball. I was in 9th grade and he yelled “for me to show ’em how I could hit it!”… those words still linger with the burning reply in my head of “how would you know?”

John Eldredge talks about how he sat at the end of “A River Runs Through It” sobbing. The rest of the theater filed out as the credits and his tears rolled. ( BTW, I am going in less than two weeks to my second “Wild at Heart Boot Camp”. )

I think these scenes that shake us to the core expose a wound or some deep longing within us. Healing for these wounds is available.

So do you have a scene that hits you between the eyes?

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2007 11:35 pm

    I sure do love you, Tommy. I really do. Thank you for sharing your woundedness with me and with everyone on the world wide web!

    And I thank God that you and Kim loved me enough to not allow me to fester in my own heartaches with deep running roots.

    I’m praying for you guys and the Colorado trip.

  2. January 29, 2007 7:32 am

    I cry at almost every movie–so my list would be looooong!

    I am sorry you’ve experienced so much pain with your earthly father–I cannot imagine. However, everything I’ve seen and heard from you is that you are an incredible parent to your children–so I am thankful you used your pain for much good!

    Have a great trip!

  3. January 29, 2007 8:51 am

    Scenes with dads get me too – my father wasn’t abusive, but he wasn’t expressive either. I grew up NOT hearing “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” I guess my parents thought it was implied!

    The book ‘Captivating’ had me bawling. But then again, I bawl at the Sylvan Learning commercials!!!

  4. January 29, 2007 10:00 am

    Tommy, your daddy had no idea what he was missing out on.

    I think it’s cool that you are your sons’ baseball coach. That will mean more to them than their batting average.

  5. January 29, 2007 10:13 am

    I have some scenes…for the most part though I keep that part of me buried and don’t share it.

    I am glad you are going back to the Wild at Heart thing…I know it has meant a lot to you…maybe I will do that someday.

  6. January 29, 2007 12:22 pm

    I guess my scene is a daddy scene in a way. You know how crazy I am about my daddy – I remember that he cried at the line…”I love you, Brian Piccolo.” in Brian’s Song.

    I don’t remember my daddy crying much – when our dog, Toby, died… at Brian’s Song… and at his daddy’s funeral. I know he cries more than that but not that I see.

  7. January 29, 2007 5:09 pm

    Jesus came to bind up our broken places.

    Without them where would we be? What would Jesus have needed to come for? I understand your broken place but what if that is the story? That Jesus has come and is working to hold together that broken place? Sounds like it is working.

    I’m not trying ot be a jerk because I understand your place. My dad was there but he always had a book and he was reading it. He came but he didn’t really come.

    I realized that I had a problem with our kids riding the bus home, I would do almost anything to make sure they were met at school. I figured out that this bothered me because my arrival at home as a kid was lonely and empty.

    Jesus came to bind up my broken heart and without it where would He be? How could he wrap himself around me without it?

  8. January 29, 2007 5:09 pm

    Jesus came to bind up our broken places.

    Without them where would we be? What would Jesus have needed to come for? I understand your broken place but what if that is the story? That Jesus has come and is working to hold together that broken place? Sounds like it is working.

    I’m not trying ot be a jerk because I understand your place. My dad was there but he always had a book and he was reading it. He came but he didn’t really come.

    I realized that I had a problem with our kids riding the bus home, I would do almost anything to make sure they were met at school. I figured out that this bothered me because my arrival at home as a kid was lonely and empty.

    Jesus came to bind up my broken heart and without it where would He be? How could he wrap himself around me without it?

  9. January 29, 2007 5:41 pm

    Darin, glad you stopped by again! So good you said it twice 🙂

    I think it is exactly why Jesus came. The words from Is. 61 that he reads in Luke 4 are powerful, hopeful, good news words that a broken and hurting world need to hear.

    Inviting Jesus into our wounds is part of what the Wild at Heart Boot Camp is about. Learning how to do that. There are other parts as well. But I have learned that sometimes a great while later we have to reopen some wounds for even deeper healing. But I am glad that you figured out your behavior and found the right one to bind that up. And thanks for sharing that with us.

  10. January 29, 2007 6:30 pm

    oh, Angie.. Love you too and thanks for the prayers.

    Ah Betty share some movies with us.

    Jeanna can we call you JB? we can both sniffle together.

    Donna’s holding out with Betty.

    Amy, thanks for the encouragement.

    Terri, good ole Gayle Sayers.

  11. Daren permalink
    January 29, 2007 10:45 pm

    Tommy, Phil had an interesting blog the other day that relates to you in a way we both know about. You may have already read it, but check it out if you haven’t.
    Daren.

    Darin, what a shame that you have to go through life with your name spelled incorrectly.

  12. January 29, 2007 10:55 pm

    Darin, don’t pay any attention to Daren’s superiority complex regarding the spelling of your name!

    Hey, Daren, if you comment on my blog I’ll be nicer to you! 🙂

  13. January 30, 2007 9:55 am

    I am just now reading “Captivating” by the Eldridge couple. So far, so good.

    Hey,I just submitted the photo that will beat yours… to Dee.

  14. January 30, 2007 11:10 am

    Fried Green Tomatoes

  15. January 30, 2007 1:36 pm

    One of the last scenes in “Cinema Paradiso” ALWAYS makes me cry no matter how many times I see the movie.

    There are also a couple of scenes in “Sling Blade” that make me cry beginning when he comes into the bedroom in the middle of the night and wants to be baptized. The first time I saw that I began to bawl and couldn’t stop the rest of the way through the movie. I still can’t watch it without crying because it is so profoundly moving.

  16. January 31, 2007 9:37 am

    Dee – I bawled at “Cinema Paradiso” too!!!

  17. January 31, 2007 5:44 pm

    Ever since this post I’ve been trying to think of moments in movies that hit me on an emotional level. Truth is, most all do. I get into movies in a way that’s sometimes a little “much.” I might not be the ideal companion for a horror flick if you’re not into screamers.

    But the more I thought about it, and this is kinda weird, but I cry the most after watching romantic movies w/happy endings. Like The Mirror Has Two Faces, Sabrina, Little Women, etc. It’s like I see those happy endings and don’t believe anything like that is meant for me. God gives me a happy ending that’s far superior to those kinds of things, but I still lament that. Doesn’t make the ache go away.

    Hmmm.

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