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Sexy on the Inside – chapter 2

February 15, 2007


Rob Bell teaching at Mars Hill.

Chapter 2 of Sex God is titled “Sexy on the Inside”.

It starts with a description of Rob at at Rolling Stones concert and how a concert is sexual. That people connect if only for a while around that music. Its hard to review this stuff. I want to say that it is a chapter about connecting. But that is only one facet of it. But I will stick with that facet for now.

We were made to be connected. Both to each other and to the world. We (Rob points out, even those who are not religious) realize this disconnect and long for it.

he says:

Our sexuality, then, has two dimensions. First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we’re severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect.

More on rethinking the definition:

If we take this understanding of our natural state seriously, we have to rethink what sexuality is. For many, sexuality is simply what happens between two people involving physical pleasure. But that’s only a small percentage of what sexuality is. Our sexuality is all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God.

A friend of mine has given his life to standing with those who have been forgotten and oppressed the most. He’s in his early thirties, he’s single, and he talks openly about his celibacy. What makes his life so powerful is that he’s a very sexual person, but he has focused his sexuality, his “energies for connection,” on a specific group of people.

Some of the most sexual people I know are celibate.

They sleep alone.

He tells this is why places like the red light district in Amsterdam is so sexually repressed.

No connection.

He ends the chapter with a story I have heard him tell before.

The other day my five-year-old son asked my wife, “Mom, what does sexy mean?”

She thought about it for a second, and then replied, “Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. You own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.”

Because it all starts with being sexy on the inside

Rob’s wife says she got that from Bono.

There are moments when we feel that connection. When we feel that energy.

Maybe the question I want to ask is do you have a group of people or a single person that you feel that with?

Where you are comfortable in your own skin.

Where you can share the real you.

Where you feel connected.


How do we develop that kind of connection?

next chapter “Angels and Animals”

5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 15, 2007 12:05 pm


  2. February 15, 2007 12:08 pm

    I think the answer is yes….but never a whole group of people.

    I think developing that connection comes at a price…you have to be able to bear the inner-most parts of your soul and know that the part of you that you give will belong to the other permanently…whether or not you “stay connected”.

    But, I also think feeling that way is worth the price.

  3. February 15, 2007 6:21 pm

    I have that with Tom and always have – beginning some 28 years ago when we first met. I was scared to death around him yet came to feel within a short period of time totally safe.

    That’s a great place to be and we have that with each other still after all of these years. It’s a GREAT place to be!

    Cheers! Dee

  4. February 15, 2007 8:18 pm

    I very rarely feel comfortable being myself. There are a few people that I THINK I’m real with but I don’t even know.

  5. February 15, 2007 10:32 pm

    I can’t say I’ve ever really felt that connection that comfortable in myself but I’m working hard to get there. I some times assume that this is something that comes easily to others so it is good to hear that other people also strive for this inner sexiness. Thx

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