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Eggshells 1

April 25, 2007

eggshell.jpg

A while back Angie (who finally has a new post) and I had a great conversation at our house about what she called “Tiptoeing” I called it walking on eggshells. I really wish I had taken notes.

I don’t know how much of a series this will turn into but I wanted to try to write some of it down.

I’ve been a part of a number of situations where I felt that I had to tiptoe around others so as not to offend. Sometimes I have sensed that from others. They were walking on eggshells. We’ve all experienced this I’m sure, we’ve probably done it ourselves. I really want to focus on how that effects churches.

The Winkler trial is kind of like that. I’ve heard a number of things privately but no one wants to talk publicly about it.

When we tiptoe (don’t say what we feel or think) we really not being ourselves. Do enough of that and you will come to realize that the people that “like” you don’t really like YOU, they like that false image of who you are. There is little comfort in that.

You also rob them of the gift of who you are. They don’t get to feel the weight of the real you. The God given person that you are.

I have been in certain situations where there was a overwhelming pressure to conform to group think. That is to agree with what “everyone” thinks. How do you not do that and maintain unity?

There is a lot more to say on this, What about Romans 14? next.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 25, 2007 3:12 pm

    I forget to walk on eggshells and say what I want to most of the time but then spend time back pedaling to try to make what I said more palatable.

  2. April 25, 2007 3:14 pm

    I think it would be really, really sad for a person not to have a few close friends they could truly be themselves with and let it all hang out. I think God gives us each other for that, to encourage us in our walk in the midst of our real struggles.

    The feeling of having to walk on eggshells implies there are people we wish would accept us as we are but they may not be at a place to understand where we are coming from. And that’s where Romans 14 comes into play, I think.

  3. April 25, 2007 5:34 pm

    I tend to say what I think people want me to say. And I think it’s okay to do that sometimes, but there are times when we aren’t being true to ourselves, and that’s not good.

  4. April 25, 2007 8:45 pm

    You crack me up! Ha…pun intended.

    Often it is more than fear of being unaccepted, but fear of an eruption when the shells start to crack. The thing is the more careful I am about expressing who I am and what I think the more likely I will simply conform to those I fear offending. Sometimes the threat of losing your idenity can only be erradicated by leaving those who might stand in disapproval.

    Sometimes though we underestimate the shell. Many may be more accepting than we sometimes give them credit for.

  5. April 25, 2007 8:54 pm

    I think part of preserving unity while being authentic means choosing to respect one another’s opinions AND expressing that respect. If you’re never given open permission to disagree respectfully, it’s easy to feel pressure to hide behind false compliance.

    (That gets a little more complicated when money is involved, I’ve found.)

    My tendency to walk tenderly comes from baggage. Too often I’ve been casually brushed aside, ignored or even outright rejected because I’ve been too open with others about my real self. Many times that has been chalked up to my being a Yankee in the heart of Dixie. I don’t think that’s the whole picture, though.

  6. April 25, 2007 9:54 pm

    Terri, I can’t believe you’ve ever offended anyone. 😉

    Amy, you are so right.

    Beverly, thanks for leaving a comment.

    Donna, sometimes the shells are stronger than we think.

    Amanda, that permission is big thing!

  7. johndobbs permalink
    May 1, 2007 8:54 pm

    I read the series backward, but it’s all excellent. Very well said. You know I mean it!

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