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Today… or why my wife is better than me

December 20, 2007

I am home today with a pounding headache. I am also keeping the boys. There has been a lot going on in our lives lately. Knowing where to start is difficult. Not telling too much, yet still telling something is tougher.

Along with sickness, I have been dealing with some realizations that…hold on to you seat…I can’t control people. Specifically, I can’t control anyone. Not in a twilight zone method of, your my puppet, but that I have to remember, people do what they want to do. That may seem obvious.

I am learning that my personality is one that is not strong in most categories and therefore allows me to relate to most people on some level. I also feel this weight on my soul because of that. So to survive I often avoid people that I don’t think I can handle. “Its not you its me.” (ht to George Costanza) I just feel that I have to conserve my emotional energy or I will die. Well maybe not die.

So with all this going on, Kim has been helping someone we met a year ago who is trying to find a job, get her GED, and learn some life skills. Today her friend’s friend was arrested. It is a difficult situation to have not enough money. Specifically he failed to appear on traffic violations. We think the tickets were for not having insurance. So today Kim has spent the day trying to see if there is anything she can do. She mostly has hit brick walls and is now sitting in court hoping to be able to speak on his behalf. I don’t know that she will even be allowed to speak.

Sadly, she expected me to freak out about this effort. She read me some Martin Luther King Jr. via Shane Claiborne as part of her telling me about this.

So Kim may at times seem to me to rush the field. She’s the better person. (ok everyone who actually knows us…knows that). I have to listen to the Braveheart speech about not wanting to be old and dying in your bed and wishing you had fought.  I am proud of her.

and all that to say. I am also learning that what God asks of us is for today. Nothing more. So the question might be, “God, what do you want me to do today?” Now, if I am only willing to listen.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. December 20, 2007 4:23 pm

    You & I have a similar personality, except that I’m an INFP, so I’m a “Feeler”. Being a feeler is draining too! I’m guessing Kim is a feeler as well?

  2. December 20, 2007 4:46 pm

    Good grief, I understand you completely.

    The truly scary thing is that I am revisiting some sermons that mean a lot to me and one of them specifically addresses the last item you mentioned. Our time will be spent/used up…regardless. All you can really control is what you are doing right now. If only I can fully buy into that.

    I want to be like Kim when I grow up.

  3. December 20, 2007 5:57 pm

    I’m just plain worthless… I don’t know what personality trait that is. A slug?

  4. December 21, 2007 10:37 am

    I talk a good game. Angi plays one.

    She rushes in where angels fear to tread. I hold her back until I’m sure that shots won’t ring out in the dark.

    We balance each other, as I suspect you and Kim do. Complete each other. Fill in each other’s gaps. Smooth out each other’s rough spots.

    Marriage is one of God’s best ideas ever, in my opinion. (Yeah, Terri, even though I’ve been through a pretty awful one before.)

  5. December 21, 2007 12:39 pm

    Good grief, Tommy, don’t be so hard on yourself! I mean, Kim is not necessarily a “better” person, just a different one, you know what I mean?

    After all, she couldn’t be out doing what she was doing if you were not there to keep the kids! Somebody has to do the lowly servant work and you stepped up and did it.

    I want to encourage you to look at it in that positive light, dear friend.

    Much love, Dee

  6. Eddie permalink
    December 21, 2007 7:12 pm

    I agree with Dee. I may be naive or simplistic and not really “getting” what you’re trying to express….but I think you’re a good guy. Love ya.

  7. December 21, 2007 8:24 pm

    I must have hit submit before i re-wrote the second part of my previous comment – I also wanted to say something about opposite personality traits helping one another out, but Keith said it better!!!

  8. December 24, 2007 11:17 pm

    Merry Christmas, Tommy and Kim!

  9. December 25, 2007 12:10 am

    I hear you.

  10. Eddie permalink
    December 25, 2007 1:42 am

    Merry Christmas!

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